


Live As If You'll Die Young

by RagingLethargy (raginglethargy)



Category: Bridgerton (TV)
Genre: Explicit eventually, Kate is now Kaleb, M/M, So why not Anthony, Someone has to be queer on this show, gender swap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:00:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28619175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raginglethargy/pseuds/RagingLethargy
Summary: A loose reinterpretation of The Viscount Who Loved Me with Kate gender swapped and now named Kaleb. Canon up until the end of Season One. Basically what Season Two could look like if adapted with a gender swapped Kate Sheffield.
Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I've outlined most of this story and written bits of future chapters. Hoping to update at least once a week. Should end up being about 15 chapters. I've changed a few details from the book to account for the gender swap and limit any anachronisms. But be warned there will definitely be anachronisms. The characterization will change a bit, but I plan on keeping the dynamics fairly similar and using a lot of the story elements/plot.

> _As we embark on a new season in Grosvenor Square, we must consider not only the topic of who might be this season’s Incomparable, but rather who might be seeking their own Diamond of the First Water._
> 
> _There are the usual suspects, course. Mr. Nigel Berbrooke still has yet to find his match, if she should even exist. But let us not forget the Bridgertons. In past seasons, this lady has allowed them to pass through relatively unscathed. But as the eldest Bridgerton, and Viscount himself, hurtles swiftly toward thirty, one must ask if he is finally ready to abandon his rakish ways and take a wife._
> 
> _If this is so, then ladies, let the games begin._
> 
> **_Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers,_ **
> 
> **_18 April 1814_ **

Anthony Bridgerton had always known he would die young.

This was not knowledge he was born with, but rather came to know later in life.

Edmund Bridgerton was strong and intelligent and caring and everything a man could ever hope to be. The best father Anthony could ever ask for.

Which is why his whole outlook on life was turned upside down when poor young Eloise saw their father collapse without warning. After much investigation into the cause, it was determined he’d been fell by a bee sting.

A bee sting!

Anthony, even at the age of eighteen, had never heard of such a thing. There was no logic to it, no way to comprehend it.

And so from that moment forward he steadfastly believed that he would not live past the age of thirty-eight. For if his father, a man who was larger than life and unstoppable, couldn’t manage to make it past thirty-eight, what hope did Anthony have to do any better?

In the years following Edmund’s death Anthony witnessed the pain and brokenness his mother felt from the loss of the love of her life. And so he endeavored to never fall in love. He couldn’t bear to cause that pain to someone he loved.

He would marry and produce heirs, as was his duty as Viscount and eldest Bridgerton son, but the marriage would not be a love match, he would make sure of it.

* * *

Mr. Robert Sheffield was a man of few means. His father had inherited several dozen acres of farmland, which he worked himself with the help of a few hired hands every season. Early in his marriage to young Harriet, the daughter of a farmer down the road, the area was hit hard with drought and harsh weather several seasons in a row.

Most of Mr. Sheffield’s crops refused to yield and when his young bride fell pregnant, the small savings he had managed to amass was quickly depleted. When a wealthy businessman from London offered Mr. Sheffield a fairly significant payment for two-thirds of his land, Mr. Sheffield had no choice but to accept the offer as his wife was by then pregnant with their second child.

As he feared, the very next season was a return to the bounty their land had always yielded. After all, the Sheffield land was the best farmland in South West England. The harsh conditions were a fluke, as he suspected, but he had known he was in an impossible situation and was at risk of losing all of his land.

And so it was that his wife, as close to a love match as he could expect to find outside of London, gave birth to their second son shortly before the best harvest in decades. But she wouldn’t live to see it due to complications during birth.

Mr. Sheffield had no time to grieve with the harvest coming so soon on the heels of tragedy. As luck would have it, an old school friend of his father’s had also come on hard times. Though his of a decidedly less reputable kind. He’d managed to gamble away most of his father’s fortune and found himself with four unmarried daughters and no dowry for any of them. When word arrived of Mr. Robert Sheffield’s bad luck, he offered Mr. Sheffield his second daughter, Mary, for marriage and to nurse and raise his two sons.

Mr. Sheffield gave very little thought to the proposal. He had no time to raise his children, let alone find another wife, particularly when he was in such dire straits. He accepted the proposal and married Mary in a small country wedding at the chapel down the road. He spent a full season working his remaining land from dawn to dusk and barely noted his new wife.

When winter arrived, he finally looked up and discovered something remarkable: Mary had taken quite well to motherhood and even better than that—she was incredibly beautiful. Mr. Sheffield kicked himself for not noticing sooner. And as she had been raised primarily in London society, she had the proper upbringing that he was sure to never find out here in the country.

It was typical to hope for a son to pass your land and wealth to and perhaps even a spare should something befall the elder. But over the long winter, Mr. Sheffield found himself wishing he had a daughter. Someone he could marry off to a relatively influential man who could elevate the Sheffield name. And when his new wife birthed a beautiful little girl that following winter, so it was that his new ambition became centered around raising his daughter the way Mary was raised, taking her to London for the season when she came of age, and marrying her off to the wealthiest man who would have her.

Unfortunately, he would not live long enough to see any of his dreams come to fruition. When his daughter Edwina was all but twelve, Robert’s heart gave out from years of hard work and bad diet.

His eldest, Charles, was all of sixteen, but he’d been raised from a young age to take over for his father. In some cases, the expectation and weight of responsibility causes a child to rebel, but perhaps because of his father’s early passing, Charles took his responsibility seriously and endeavored to continue on as his father would.

Which meant when Edwina came of age, he knew it was time to travel to London for the season in hopes of marrying Edwina to an influential man. Robert had begun to save up for the trip and Edwina’s modest dowry and Charles had made sure those savings came to fruition. It wouldn’t do to cut too many corners, especially as they could only afford one season. They had one chance to get this right.

Which is why, when the crops inexplicably began to struggle mere days before the Sheffields were set to travel to London, Charles had to make the difficult decision to remain in the country and send only Mary and his younger brother, Kaleb, with Edwina. He had to trust Mary to guide Edwina and Kaleb to vet any potential suitor. Kaleb and Edwina had always been close, so Charles knew he could at least trust him to have Edwina’s best interests in mind. Kaleb would travel in a few weeks to finalize any potential union.

For his part, Kaleb did have Edwina’s best interests at heart. What he’d conveniently avoided telling Charles is that Kaleb did not think that Edwina’s best interests necessarily required her to marry for wealth. Kaleb was of the mind that that was more in Charles’ best interests rather than Edwina’s.

And since Kaleb himself was sure he would never marry, he didn’t see any reason why Edwina should marry unless she wanted to. He would make sure Edwina was always taken care of. They were happy in the country and why should that change?

If Charles was so intent on fulfilling their father’s wishes, he could marry a lady of good standing himself.

And so it was that the Sheffields descended upon London with very different expectations of how the season should go.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony decides to marry this season's Incomparable and Kaleb decides to keep his sister far away from famous rake and rogue Anthony Bridgerton.

> _All three Bridgerton men mysteriously disappeared last week and as much as this lady would like to tell you her reach goes far and wide, I cannot tell a lie. But they have returned and are said to be attending tonight’s ball._
> 
> _As for this season’s Incomparable, it is not secret she has been entertaining numerous attentions and perhaps even a few proposals. But she seems an intelligent lady and is taking her time to carefully consider her options. And with the Bridgerton brothers returned, perhaps she will catch the eye of one of the ton’s three most eligible bachelors._
> 
> _Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers_
> 
> _10 May 1814_

“Are you reading Lady Whistledown again?” Kaleb complains from across the drawing room. He’s reading a lesser known author a local bookseller recommended to him—Jane Austen. But the occasional gasps and giggles coming from Edwina are distracting.

“If you must know, yes. She mentioned Anthony Bridgerton again. The family seems so elegant. His sister married the Duke last season, did you know?”

“You may have mentioned it once or twice.” Or a dozen times. Kaleb is even more irked at the mention of the Bridgertons. Edwina is typically so grounded and sensible. She loves books and philosophy and music. She’s never lowered herself to idle gossip. Then again, there isn’t much gossip to be had in the country.

“I’m sick of hearing about the Bridgertons. If Lady Whistledown is to be trusted, as you insist she is, Anthony Bridgerton is a rogue and a rake and his brothers aren’t much better. You deserve better and I will not allow you to entertain any interest from the Bridgertons. Besides, you’ve more important matters to concern yourself with.

Mary enters then and agrees. “Yes. When Charles arrives in a fortnight, I would prefer to already have a suitable husband selected for him to approve. It’s much cleaner that way.”

What Kaleb meant was her studies, but he knows Mary is also correct. And what he hears is that Mary doesn’t trust Charles’ taste, which would fall in line with everything else she’s not quite said ever since they began discussing plans for traveling to London for the season. It’s well known in the family that Charles would just as soon marry Edwina off to the richest, most influential man despite his reputation or whether Edwina cared to even marry him.

Complicating matters even further, Edwina was unexpectedly declared the season’s Incomparable by Lady Whistledown. Which did not dissuade Edwina from her obsession with the gossip monger. The declaration put a target on Edwina’s back and she’s been fielding attentions from nearly every eligible (and many ineligible) men ever since.

But then last week she very loudly declared that she should not consider any proposal of marriage if Kaleb himself did not approve. And that seemed to curb some of the frenzy. But her dance card remains full at every ball they attend. And they have one tonight which Kaleb is dreading even more than usual because rumor has it the Bridgerton brothers have arrived back in town.

* * *

Anthony takes a swig of his drink, attempting to drown out Benedict and Colin’s inane argument regarding something Anthony could not care less about. It’s almost as if…he’s bored. He still keeps a mistress, for sure. But only one at a time. He attends horse races and boxing matches, but he has to admit they are few and far between these days.

Instead he spends most of his time tending to his family and less to the decadence he remembers loving a lot more than he does now.

He’s always known he would have to take a wife and be fruitful and multiply. But long ago he’d set standards for himself. Whomever he was to marry she would have to be reasonably attractive, smart enough to enjoy conversing with, and she had to be someone he is certain he would never fall in love with.

So with his mind made up, Anthony interrupts his brothers. “Who is considered the diamond of this season?” Anthony had never paid much attention to such matters, save for when his own sister was declared the diamond. But he suspected at least one of his brothers would know.

There was a brief silence before Colin said determinedly, “Edwina Sheffield. She’s new to the _ton_ , her first season I believe, but you can usually recognize her either by her blond hair and blue eyes or the ridiculous crowd of sheeplike suitors that constantly surround her.”

Anthony smirks. He does like a challenge. Of course, none of those suitors could possibly be any real competition, but it did seem like more fun to court and marry the young lady whom so many other men desired.

“Has she a brain?” Anthony asked, needing the final bit of information regarding his standards.

Colin thought back to whatever time he’d spent in her presence. “I do believe I overheard her discussing mythology with Middlethorpe, so I imagine so. I rather think she put him to rights.”

“Good,” Anthony said, finishing the last of his drink. “Then I shall marry her.”

* * *

This evening’s ball is being hosted by…why, Kaleb has no earthly idea, but he’s sure Mary is passing on their thanks to the hostess. The only reason he’s here is to act as gate keeper to his younger sister.

Which he realizes he’s not doing a very good job of when he spots Edwina dances with none other than Anthony Bridgerton. When did that happen? Surely when he was out for a smoke, the rake had taken advantage.

Kaleb is trying to work out how to extricate his sister from the clutches of the viscount when he notices a presence at his side. He turns to find a Bridgerton brother. On the younger side, so most likely Colin.

Colin has a wry smile on his face. “I take it you’re the older brother to Miss Sheffield?”

Hackles up, Kaleb offers his hand merely out of convention rather than desire. “Kaleb Sheffield.”

Colin shakes his hand and surprises Kaleb when he says, “I can’t imagine you’re too happy right now.”

“No. I am not.”

“I know the look. Anthony went through this last season.”

Before Kaleb can ask Colin to explain, the dance ends. Colin offers, “I assume you’ll want to swoop in and separate them?”

Kaleb smiled knowingly. He likes this Bridgerton. It helps that he’s not courting his sister. At least not as of yet. Seasons in London can be unpredictable, if Mary’s stories can be believed.

“Yes, thank you. No offense to the Bridgerton name, of course.”

Colin raises his glass to that. “Of course.” And Kaleb thinks Colin senses and matches the slight sarcasm Kaleb had offered with his assurance.

With that, Kaleb makes his way to Edwina to extricate her. Perhaps steer her into a dance with a perfectly sensible gentleman.

* * *

Colin approaches his eldest brother, who is eyeing Miss Sheffield with the gaze of a hunter claiming his prey. “How was your dance with your future wife, Anthony?”

Anthony tears his eyes away from Miss Sheffield to greet his younger brother with a clap on the back. “Very productive.”

Colin quirks an eyebrow, trying to hide his amusement. “Oh? Are you engaged then, brother?”

“Nearly. I should like to say she is quite taken with me.”

“Is she, then?” Colin gestures to where Miss Sheffield is finishing a dance with Lord Tompkins.

Anthony waves away any concern. “Tompkins is no competition. I am sure she will accept my proposal after an appropriate period of time. We’ve only just met.”

“But I suppose you know hers is not the only approval you must seek.”

“Do not fret. I already have plans to send flowers to both her and her mother tomorrow morn.”

“And do you plan to send flowers to her older brother, as well?”

Anthony’s head turns sharply to look at Colin. “What do you mean? That would be ridiculous.”

“It seems we missed something at the Smythe & Smithe concert last week.”

“Preposterous. Nothing ever happens at those infernal events."

“Someone should inform the Sheffields, then. It seems she declared, rather loudly, that she shall not marry any man whom her brother does not approve.”

“She has an eldest brother, doesn’t she? Surely she must have meant him.”

“No, she made it very clear she meant Kaleb Sheffield.”

Anthony curses under his breath, but not low enough to escape the notice of the passing Lady Danbury, who turns a sharp eye of warning on him. He has the sense to wither under her gaze, which seems to be enough apology for her before she moves on to her next victim.

“Why ever would she care what he thinks?”

“I should think you’d agree, seeing as you were so insistent on approving of Daphne’s choice last season.”

“Because I am the head of this family.”

“Yes, that was the only reason.”

“It was,” Anthony insists, though he doesn’t think he sounds terribly convincing. Much of his reticence to Daphne marrying came from his instincts as a protective older brother, and not of concern over her future. He thinks back to how he almost married her off to Nigel Berbrooke and shudders to think what might have happened if he had allowed the marriage to come to fruition.

“You’re in luck, however,” Colin asserts. “I was just talking to Mr. Kaleb Sheffield and he seemed amenable to your courting of his sister. He is very eager to make your acquaintance and judge your character.”

“Excellent. We should make haste, then. I’d like to get this whole marriage ordeal over with as soon as possible.”

“You should definitely lead with that.”

Anthony smacks Colin’s arm for his insolence as Colin leads them to Mr. Kaleb Sheffield, who is currently preoccupied with watching intently as his sister begins a dance with none other than Nigel Berbrooke. Anthony doesn’t wait for an introduction, instead leaning in to warn Mr. Sheffield, “I would put a pin in that as soon as you’re able.”

Kaleb turns to Anthony, surprised. “A pin in what?”

Anthony regards the dancing couple. “Nigel Berbrooke. He is the last person you want your sister to marry.”

“Because of his age or because he is competition?”

“I would never disparage a fellow suitor merely for being what you so crudely call competition. But I do know some unsavory information I would be happy to impart to you when we are not in such a public place.”

“I’m not interested.”

Colin steps in then, “Mr. Kaleb Sheffield, may I present my eldest brother, Viscount Anthony Bridgerton.”

Kaleb regards Anthony with barely veiled contempt, which aside from his interactions with Lady Danbury, Anthony is not used to receiving. His first thought is he is going to maim Colin for this. His second thought is one of amusement. He had hoped his courting of Edwina Sheffield would be short and simple, but he has also never backed down from a challenge and this could make the season very entertaining indeed.

“I’m well aware who you are, Viscount Bridgerton.”

“Anthony, please. If we are to be family, we should begin acting in accordance.”

“Rest assured, we will never call one another family.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know of you. And that’s enough, I am certain.”

Something twinges in Anthony and he is suddenly not amused. He had expected an overprotective brother, not someone who would assume to know everything about him without giving him a chance to make any sort of impression.

“I assume you speak of Lady Whistledown.”

“Among others.”

“You should not believe everything you read, Mr. Sheffield.”

“Yes, I am aware. In point of fact, of the little Lady Whistledown has written of my family, they are only half truths. Alas, she can only report what she sees. She cannot see into one’s soul.”

“So you are willing to give me a chance?”

“No. I am certain you are not right for my sister.”

“I beg your pardon, but I believe we are stuck in a cyclical argument now.”

“Not at all. I am hardly convinced my sister need to marry at all, let alone an infamous rake whom cannot possibly come close to being what my sister wishes to find in a partner. If she must marry, I will help her find the best match, regardless of title or wealth.”

“Oh, so you believe I only have my title and wealth to offer.”

“It’s the reason you have finally decided, isn’t it? To do your duty of passing on your title and producing an heir?”

Anthony is irked at being sized up so quickly by such a judgmental stranger. “Don’t presume to know me or my motivations.”

Colin has conveniently taken his leave at this point, but Anthony barely notices as a heat begins to form in his abdomen. How dare this insolent child, because that’s what he is compared to Anthony’s years of experience, stand in the way of what he wants.

Anthony is not a brute, though. If Edwina herself did not want to marry Anthony, he would not force her hand. But for Kaleb, with no title and no claim to any inheritance or land, to presume to make decisions for his family on such little information is irresponsible and could mark the downfall of his family.

“What would your brother think of you antagonizing a Viscount who holds a serious interest in marrying your sister?” Kaleb bristles at that and Anthony rejoices internally at the win.

“He trusts my judgement.”

“Does he? Or have you decided unilaterally to stand in the way of any match you deem not good enough for your sister so that by the time your brother arrives to approve of any match you can tell him there was no one suitable or no serious offers and you haven’t a clue what went wrong?”

“If my sister wishes to marry, she shall. But I will not stand idly by while she marries simply to raise my family’s status. It’s a foolish ambition and I will not put that pressure on her.”

The heat in Anthony’s gut transforms into something else. Something familiar, but misplaced. His mind, however, supplies a certain level of begrudging respect. Anthony is so used to the social climbers of London society, that he’s not entirely sure how to react to someone of Kaleb’s moral fibre. He finds the quality distasteful outside his own family and he’s not sure if he can even trust it. Perhaps this is just a way to make Edwina seem more desirable.

Regardless, he has decided Edwina Sheffield is the one for him, and Kaleb is standing in his way, so he has no interest in siding with Kaleb on this.

Anthony leans in to speak in a low whisper, “Well, then I shall just have to convince you that I am a suitable choice for your sister, regardless of my title and holdings.”

He turns on his heel and leaves Kaleb before he has a chance to respond.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony pays the Sheffields a visit and goes for an invigorating promenade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit late, but I started a new job this week so I'm using that as an excuse.
> 
> This is where we start to diverge from the book. Partly because it's bound to happen, partly because there's no reason to just re-tell the story beat by beat, and partly because I don't own the book and have forgotten some of the particulars, haha.

> _If you missed the ball last night, you missed quite the intrigue. It seems the Viscount Bridgerton has set his sights on none other than this season’s Incomparable. I’m no soothsayer, but I gently remind you, dear readers, that I predicted just this in my previous letter._
> 
> _It remains to be seen if Miss Sheffield can hold the attention of the Viscount and if her declaration at the Smythe & Smith concert is to be believed, she may not be the one the Viscount needs to set his sights on if he intends to marry Miss Sheffield._
> 
> _Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers_
> 
> _11 May 1814_

The next morning, Anthony is up at the crack of dawn to order a veritable garden of flower arrangements to be sent to the Sheffield residence. He even goes to the shop himself to pick out a particular arrangement to be delivered by him personally.

The shop assures him his choices will be delivered posthaste. In the interim, he travels to the Bridgerton residence to break fast with his family. Everyone is rowdy as usual, which only serves to warm Anthony’s heart. He needed this after meeting such resistance the night before. He has much to offer a wife beyond his title and riches. Even if he cannot offer her a love match.

Soon it is time to travel to the Sheffield’s temporary residence and Anthony makes haste. When he arrives, he carries his special arrangement in with him. The other arrangements have just been delivered and he passes the delivery boy on his way in, tipping his hat and handing the boy a note in gratitude.

Anthony hands his calling card to the butler and waits impatiently. When he is finally guided into the drawing room, he is disappointed to find only Kaleb present, but he quickly recovers, remembering his plan.

“Mr. Sheffield.”

“Viscount Bridgerton. I gather our conversation last night did not deter you.” Kaleb eyes the extensive collection of flowers that covers nearly every surface of the room. “I suppose I should thank you, if only on behalf of Mary. She was positively thrilled to receive a bouquet of her own. She’d never heard of such a thing.”

“A suitor of my sister’s did the same thing last season and my mother was nearly brought to tears.”

“What came of the suitor?”

“He married my sister,” Anthony says with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Kaleb rolls his eyes. “I suppose you believe that means you will fare the same?”

Anthony shrugs. “He was a worse rake than I, intent on not every marrying.”

“Did that not cause you to rebuke his intentions?”

“Of course it did. At first. But I came to realize that he was the exact right choice for my sister, and he has been an exemplary husband to her as far as I can tell. They are absolutely enamored of each other and she is already set to give him an heir later this year.”

“That’s fortunate for them, but I doubt you will fare so well in this case.”

Anthony chooses to ignore Kaleb’s continued obstinance, instead stepping forward to offer the bouquet to Kaleb. “And for you, since you insist on acting as mother hen to your sister.” Anthony expects the move to only serve as further agitation before eventually charming his way into Edwina’s heart and forcing Kaleb’s hand. A sneak attack of sorts. He’s not expecting Kaleb to be amused by the action.

“You really are incorrigible.” Kaleb’s chuckle is tinged with annoyance, but Anthony can tell the joke somehow served to impress the younger man.

“That may be the first real quality you’ve gleaned about me. Outside of rumors, that is.”

“You still insist you are not a rake?”

“I admitted to being a rake mere moments ago. But my mother insists rakes make for the best husbands.”

“I’ve heard that adage, but do not subscribe to it.”

“How many rakes have you known, then?”

Kaleb bristles at being called out so aptly. “Enough.”

Anthony looks around. “Where is your sister, then?”

“She is not here.”

“Why ever not? It is early. I was intent on being her first caller.”

“And Mr. Berbrooke was ever more intent than you.”

“She’s out with Berbrooke? Alone?”

“It is day time and they’ve merely taken a turn on his curricle. It’s perfectly appropriate.”

Before Anthony can retort, Mary Sheffield enters the drawing room, surprised to find the Viscount present. “My Lord! I was not aware you had arrived.”

Anthony puts on his most charming smile and regards Mrs. Sheffield. “Do not fret, I arrived only moments ago. I wanted to ensure the flowers arrived without incident.”

Mrs. Sheffield blushes at the mention of his surprise generosity. “Oh yes, as you can see, we have received your very generous offering. And I must thank you for my bouquet. I have never received something so beautiful and you can be sure I did not expect it at all. I was just upstairs putting the flowers in a vase in my chambers. I get excellent light, so they should flourish there.”

“Excellent. I am very glad you enjoyed them.”

“I suppose you’re here to see Edwina. Did Kaleb tell you she’s out with Mr. Berbrooke?”

“Yes, he did inform me. In his curricle?”

“I wasn’t sure if it was safe. Those curricles can be very difficult to drive. You know Mr. Berbrooke, what do you suppose?”

“As far as I know, Mr. Berbrooke has a steady hand with horses.” Anthony chooses not to unnecessarily concern Mrs. Sheffield with his doubts as to Nigel’s gentility. Surely he wouldn’t try anything out in the day light.

Mrs. Sheffield sighs in relief. “That’s good to hear.”

Just then a tiny, yipping creature bounds into the drawing room, nearly causing Anthony to yelp. He manages to retain his composure, but by the amused look in Kaleb’s eye, he didn’t do well enough.

“And who is this creature?” Anthony asks, barely masking his disdain.

Kaleb scoops the dog up in his arms. “This is Newton. Newton, say hello to the Viscount Bridgerton.” Kaleb takes a step toward Anthony, but Anthony takes a step back by instinct.

Anthony tries to ignore the way Kaleb chuckles.

Mrs. Sheffield seems not to notice the tension because she very happily suggests Kaleb and Anthony take Newton for his walk.

“Perhaps you’ll come across Edwina and Mr. Berbrooke!” Mrs. Sheffield says, and how can Anthony say no to that?

* * *

Anthony must admit it is a nice day for a walk, even if his company leaves something to be desired. The dog is a hyper little thing, constantly disrupting the potential for a peaceful promenade.

“Do you not like dogs?” Kaleb asks, his voice sounding hopeful for possibly finding another reason not to recommend Anthony as possible marriage material for his sister.

“I love dogs. This is not a dog.”

“If he’s not a dog, then, what is he?”

“I’m not certain, but it is not any sort of pleasant creature, and I consider dogs to be pleasant creatures.”

Kaleb shakes his head and tries to tamp down any appreciation he might be feeling for Anthony’s sense of humor, no matter how disdainful it might be towards his beloved Newton. Charles had adopted Newton from a nearby farm for Edwina shortly after their father’s death, but Kaleb had been the one to form an attachment to the dog and him to Kaleb. Within the first few weeks, Newton was following Kaleb everywhere. His constant companionship was what had gotten Kaleb through a complicated grieving process.

But he’s not going to tell the Viscount all of that, so he chooses instead to be annoyed by Anthony’s insolence.

That is until they spot Mr. Berbrooke’s curricle up ahead. As it turns the corner, Edwina can be seen clearly, which does not go unnoticed by Newton, who starts running toward her.

It takes Kaleb by surprise, since Newton is not usually so excited to see Edwina, which is what Kaleb will later claim is the reason Newton was able to pull the leash out of Kaleb’s hands.

“Newton!” Kaleb shouts as he runs after the surprisingly quick dog. He faintly registers that Anthony has broken into a run as well and Kaleb can’t help but think what a sight the three of them must be.

Kaleb is able to catch up with Newton just short of Newton catching up with the curricle. “Mr. Berbrooke, Edwina!” Kaleb manages to shout in an effort to stop the curricle and save Newton from a possible accident.

It doesn’t work. In fact, Kaleb’s fairly certain the curricle starts going faster. Which causes one of the wheels to dislocate, which effectively stops the curricle.

Kaleb lets out a sigh of relief. It’s short-lived, though, because apparently Newton realizes too late that the curricle is stopping and runs right past it into the channel. Edwina jumps out of the curricle. “Newton! Oh, no!”

She’s already reaching for Newton, leaning precariously over the edge of the channel before Kaleb and Anthony reach her. Anthony, with his longer legs, has long surpassed Kaleb’s progress which is why when Edwina falls into the channel, Anthony is the one to receive the majority of the splash.

Which of course makes Kaleb laugh, even as Anthony does the gentlemanly thing by helping Edwina out of the channel. For his admiral behavior, Kaleb decides not to immediately separate the Viscount from Edwina, but that ends up being a mistake moments later when Anthony takes charge of how to proceed.

“Miss Sheffield, you are positively soaked. I shall escort you home immediately. Mr. Sheffield, I trust I can leave you here to retrieve your…dog and perhaps even help Mr. Berbrooke with his unfortunate wheel circumstance. It would appear he was spooked easily by such a tiny creature.”

Kaleb bites his tongue to keep from retorting that Anthony seemed spooked enough by Newton earlier, but Edwina looks horrid and he knows he must move quickly to retrieve Newton from the channel before any other calamity befalls him.

Mr. Berbrooke for his part appears to have been struck speechless by this turn of events and as he reaches into the channel for Newton, Kaleb is already mentally preparing an argument for why he can’t possibly help Mr. Berbrooke with his broken curricle.

Perhaps if he simply tells him the truth—that Edwina cannot possibly be left alone with Viscount Bridgerton. Kaleb certainly doesn’t want his sister to marry Nigel either, but he doesn’t have to know that quite yet.

With his plan firmly in mind, Kaleb successfully retrieves Newton, dodges Mr. Berbrooke, and sets out to save Edwina from the attentions of Viscount Bridgerton.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony's attention is diverted and Kaleb makes some revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terrible. But also not. Because I've been working 60 hours a week and moving, so really when would I have had time to finish this chapter? But I offer as penance an extra-long chapter and some steaminess.
> 
> Also, I keep meaning to tell you all that in my head I've cast Edward Bluemel (A Discovery of Witches, Killing Eve) as Kaleb. Picture who you'd like, but if you wanted a visual aid, there it is.
> 
> Now that things have settled down, I'm hoping to get back to weekly posts, probably on the weekend now that I'm working so much.

> _If you happened to be in the square two days past, you would have witnessed quite a scene indeed. In point of fact, if I had not heard several accounts from reputable sources, this lady would not believe it either._
> 
> _Alas, Viscount Bridgerton was spotted chasing after a tiny Terrier along with Mr. Kaleb Sheffield. It is said they were yelling the name Newton, so we must presume that is what the dog is called. The malarky ended with Miss Edwina Sheffield in the channel being saved by none other than Anthony Bridgerton, leaving Mr. Sheffield to retrieve the creature._
> 
> _The Viscount then escorted Miss Sheffield back home, lending further evidence to the whispers that the Viscount has Miss Sheffield in his sights. The question still remains—is she merely this season's distraction or is he pondering a proposal?_
> 
> _Perhaps we will know more following Lady Bridgerton’s upcoming musicale. The evening is sure to bring a multitude of revelations._
> 
> _Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers_
> 
> _14 May 1814_

The next day finds Anthony back with his brothers, silently mulling over his next move. He had successfully managed to secure some private time with Miss Sheffield away from her brother’s prying eyes. But it had been a feat and one not worthy of his energy as she had immediately absconded to her quarters and he had respectfully taken his leave. He must figure a way to either earn Kaleb’s support or, more likely, circumvent him entirely. Perhaps Mrs. Sheffield is the answer, seeing as she would certainly be amenable to her daughter marrying a Viscount.

“What is on your mind, brother? You’ve barely touched your drink,” Colin chides.

“Oh, nothing. It’s only that this Sheffield character is proving obstinate.”

“I told you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did. There is no need to rub it in.”

“I so rarely get the better of you, I should like to rub it in as far as it will go.”

“That’s far enough, I should say. I have sufficient burdens when it comes to Kaleb Sheffield, I don’t need my own brother working against me as well.”

Colin sighs, relenting. “What seems to be the problem, then? Perhaps your brothers can help.”

“Yes,” Benedict pipes in. “Is the simple country boy proving to be a formidable opponent?”

“No, of course not. But he has it in his mind that I am not suitable for his sister merely due to what he has read in Lady Whistledown’s papers.”

“If I recall, she has been fairly accurate in her comments regarding your character,” Benedict supplies unhelpfully.

“The past does not determine the future. I was not serious about marrying at the time and behaved accordingly. I have now resolved to marry as soon as possible and will act accordingly.”

“No more opera singers, then?” Colin teases.

Anthony gives him an unamused raised eyebrow, which prompts Colin to excuse himself under the guise of seeing a friend.

Benedict is not so easily intimidated, however. “If I recall, you were similarly reticent to allow Simon to court Daphne last season.”

“Because I knew he had resolved to never marry. I was sure he couldn’t be serious about his attentions. It is an entirely different circumstance. This Kaleb is so obstinate in his opinion of my character. It is infuriating. Nothing I do appears to have an effect on his prejudice.”

“You appear to be terribly preoccupied with this Sheffield fellow,” Benedict states, risking poking the bear.

The risk is well-feared as Anthony sits up straight, ready for a fight. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Benedict is not surprised at Anthony’s ire as it serves to further confirm the point he’s moving to make. He knows what he suspects goes beyond reason. But so it is when it comes to affairs of the heart. “I mean to say that I’ve heard you speak barely a word about the young Miss Sheffield, but have spent the last few days hearing of your contempt for Mr. Sheffield.”

“That’s because he is contemptible!”

“Why do you let him bother you so? In actuality he has very little power. And I know you have decided Miss Sheffield is to be your wife, but is she really worth all this work?”

“I will not allow an insignificant gnat to dictate my life.”

“It seems he’s dictated your life much of late anyway.”

Anthony waves away the thought. “Nonsense. He’s but a small nuisance on my way to marrying Miss Sheffield.”

“And how much time have you spent with Miss Sheffield of late?”

Anthony scowls. “I’ve spent plenty of time with Miss Sheffield. We danced at the ball the other night and I called on her two days ago. I even escorted her home without the prying eyes of her brother. I called on her yesterday as well, but of course she has other suitors I have to share the time with as a matter of politic.”

“And how did you bide your time in that case?”

Anthony gives Benedict a death glare. “Well I’m certainly not going to spend it conversing with the imbeciles she has courting her.”

“And how are you finding Mr. Sheffield’s conversational skills?” Benedict says, tongue firmly in cheek.

“His conversational skills? Impeccable. His manners? Atrocious. Alas, if I manage to charm him, even through mere over-exposure, I shall regret nothing and be relieved to have finally cleared a path to my inevitable marriage to his sister.”

“So you still want to marry her?”

“Yes, of course. I decided it and so it shall be.”

“And what of Siena?”

“Siena is a distant memory. It never would have worked out and I see now that I chose her specifically because I knew I could never have a future with her. Even if I lost sight of that for a moment.”

“I’m just surprised you want to marry at all, brother. Especially if it’s not a love match.”

“I have never wanted a love match. That was mother’s desire for each of us, never mine. I must produce an heir and ensure the continuance of the title, and so I shall do my duty.”

“You do have three other brothers, you know.”

“And at least two of you are hopeless. Colin could not run this household any more than little Hyacinth could and you refuse to adhere to any modicum of social decorum. Who knows how young George will fare? I haven’t much hope.”

“And if I married well and produced a suitable heir?”

“You are the second born. First born of a first born is how we do it in the ton and in the family.”

“Yes, that’s the plan and it’s all rather neat and tidy. But the first born doesn’t always produce a male heir. In fact, you are far from ensured to produce one either. What if Miss Sheffield only bears girls?”

“In that rather unlikely case, I suppose it’s fortunate we have a spare. Three spares, for that matter.”

“My point, dear brother, is that you are far from the only hope for the Bridgerton name and should not let that preclude you from having the life you want.”

“I forfeited any real desire the moment I was born the first son to a viscount.”

“You didn’t. And I think you’re using it as an excuse so you do not have to actually decide what you want out of life.”

“And what, pray tell, do you think I want out of life?”

“I would not be the one to ask, but I do have an idea. I suspect you are blind to it and will remain so as long as you insist on marrying Miss Sheffield.”

“What sort of nonsense are you alluding to?”

Benedict takes a long swig of his drink, finishing it off. “Oh, brother, you are not ready to face it. But rest assured, I will be right by your side when you do.”

And with that, Benedict sets down his glass and takes his leave.

Anthony shakes his head and thinks that perhaps his brother has finally lost all of his marbles.

* * *

The night of his mother’s musicale, Anthony is anxious to spot Miss Sheffield and steal her away before her brother can intervene. They arrive later in the evening, though not so late as to be unfashionable.

However, his own mother proves to be the wrinkle in his plan as she whisks Miss Sheffield off immediately to acquaint herself with the young lady Anthony has set his sights on. It is just like her to put the cart before the horse, but he supposes she might be his secret weapon when it comes to winning over the whole Sheffield family. He may find his mother’s machinations tiring, but most of the ton adores her and her title doesn’t hurt that one bit.

Without the promise of Miss Sheffield’s company, Anthony doesn’t know what to do with himself. And so it is that he finds himself cornered by one of the singers who appears intent on seducing him before the night is through.

This isn’t entirely uncommon, particularly since Anthony ended his affair with Siena. It seems many young, unattached bourgeois women had decided they could be the next Siena. With Miss Sheffield otherwise occupied, Anthony throws caution to the wind and decides one last fling couldn’t hurt.

* * *

Kaleb is perhaps even more bored than he usually is at these infernal events. Mostly because Anthony is nowhere in sight and therefore there is no reason for Kaleb to be on high alert. Beside which, his sister has been whisked away by Lady Bridgerton and even Kaleb knows not to interfere. He just hopes she isn’t trying to convince Edwina to marry her eldest son. Kaleb does not relish having to go up against the formidable Lady Bridgerton. Perhaps this is all part of Anthony’s plan, which may mean Kaleb has already lost.

Instead of sulking, Kaleb chooses to divert himself by wandering the impressive Bridgerton home. He finds himself in an impressive room, filled with beautiful art pieces. Lady Bridgerton has impeccable taste. And the means to support it, Kaleb thinks to himself with only the slightest inclination of cynicism. Yes, he loves books and art and beautiful things but more than that he loves the freedom he enjoys in the country. The protection that affords him to be himself. The privacy he’s come to rely on for his very survival.

It’s not until he hears someone just outside the room that he thinks maybe he’s not supposed to be here. With his exit blocked, he escapes via another door.

But that only leads to an office. With an impressive collection of books, which steal Kaleb’s attention. He spots a gorgeous red leather-bound edition of a book he’d never heard anyone else allude to and crosses the room to examine it. Too late, Kaleb realizes the people, because it is certainly more than one person if the whispers and footsteps are anything to go by, were not headed to the room he’d just left, but rather into the office. He doesn’t have time to exit the way he came as the door begins to open. So he does the only thing he can think to do.

He hides under the desk.

Kaleb immediately realizes this was a foolish decision, but he is committed now as the two newcomers make their way across the room. It’s a man and a woman and they are certainly not being prudent. Kaleb thought residents of the ton were all about propriety, but apparently Kaleb has stumbled upon the seedy underbelly of polite society that Lady Whistledown loves to hint at. Kaleb wishes for it to be over, for someone to interrupt or for showtime to be called, but alas none of that occurs.

Instead, three worse things happen in quick succession.

First, the man speaks and despite himself, Kaleb recognizes the Viscount’s voice immediately. Kaleb’s first thought is anger and hope that the woman Anthony is debasing is not Edwina.

But then the woman speaks, proving herself to be a stranger, but what she says solidifies in Kaleb’s mind his determination to never allow his sister to marry Anthony Bridgerton.

“And here I thought you were practically engaged.”

Kaleb has to keep himself from scoffing at the inaccurate assumption. Anthony’s response is worse, though.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun.”

Kaleb bristles immediately. If Anthony is serious about marrying Edwina, how could he be so blasé about making a fool of her? And if Anthony means to convince Kaleb he is not all Lady Whistledown has made him out to be, he’s not doing a very good job.

But suddenly Anthony stops his ministrations and asks the woman to leave, citing her upcoming performance and his desire for his mother’s event to go off without a hitch.

The woman is not happy, but she knows better than to argue with a Viscount in his own home.

Kaleb thinks maybe he’s been saved, but as soon as the door closes behind the singer, Anthony calls out, “I know you’re under there. You may as well come out.”

And that’s really the worst thing that could have happened.

With the jig being up, Kaleb crawls out from under the desk.

“You,” Anthony says with the same disdain he’s held for Kaleb since they met.

“Yes, me.” Kaleb’s instincts tell him to wither under the Viscount’s stare, but he also knows he has some higher ground here, despite the unfortunate position Anthony had discovered him in. “I suppose I am the last person you wanted to find under that desk considering what just occurred in here.”

“And what is that?” Anthony asks casually, but Kaleb can tell he knows he’s been caught.

“You’ve spent the last week trying to convince me and my sister that you are serious about your interest in her, but here you are humiliating her.”

“Humiliating her? How, pray tell, am I doing that?”

“If anyone other than me were to discover you and that woman here, Edwina would be the laughing stock of the ton.”

“Usually guests don’t enter private areas of a person’s home. Besides which, I thought you were intent on my not marrying your sister. So it shouldn’t matter, should it?”

“But everyone thinks you are serious about Edwina, so it would hurt her reputation just the same.”

“Worse things have happened, even to the Diamond of the First Water, and believe me there will always be enough gossip to divert the ton’s attention.”

Kaleb steps around the desk, challenging Anthony.

“That is not the point. If you were trying to convince me you would treat Edwina well, I am now entirely convinced you will not and will make certain you never marry her.”

Anthony steps closer to Kaleb. Closer than is socially acceptable.

“And how is that different from how you felt an hour ago? You were already convinced I was rogue and not suitable for your precious sister. I am not so old-fashioned as to believe she has no say in this and I would think you would heed her desires as well.”

Kaleb can feel Anthony’s breath on his face, but he is determined not to flinch first.

“Then I shall endeavor to sway any desire she may harbor for you.”

“You can try, but I have little confidence you will succeed,” Anthony says smugly.

Kaleb’s blood is boiling and he’s finding it hard to breathe. If he’s reading Anthony’s body language correctly, he is suffering the same dilemma. And still neither of them demurs.

It’s only when Anthony’s eyes dart to Kaleb’s lips and a bell rings, signaling the five minute warning before the concert begins that both men step back. Kaleb is the first to leave, running outside for fresh air and wondering what the devil that was all about.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony escapes to the country. Kaleb escapes to the country.

> _The time has come for Lady Bridgerton’s annual sojourn to the country. If you’re fortunate enough to have garnered an invite for yourself, be sure to keep an eye out for scandal. A week alone outside of society? A veritable breeding ground, pun intended._
> 
> _Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers_
> 
> _19 May 1814_

After his strange encounter with Kaleb Sheffield, Anthony is anxious to retire to the country with his family. In true Violet fashion, his mother has seen fit to invite half the ton as well, but it’s a large estate and invites had been sent out long before the Sheffields were anyone of import.

Anthony underestimates his mother, however, because she has decided to invite the Sheffields anyway. He knows he should be glad for the opportunity to spend more time with Miss Sheffield, but recent events have complicated that relationship even further.

Not to mention, their country estate always reminds him of the worst days of his life. He used to love the country and still comes when summoned by his mother, but he’s lost the joy he used to hold for the wide open spaces that now feel as if they are walls closing in on him.

He doesn’t relish adding an extra layer of Kaleb Sheffield to this.

As guests begin to arrive for their up to weeklong stay at the manor, Anthony steals away to the garden. Not to hide, no. Just to enjoy the fresh air and leave his mother to her machinations.

* * *

Kaleb had tried to convince his sister and step-mother to gracefully decline Lady Bridgerton’s invitation to the country. He argued it was so last minute and obviously an afterthought, but Mary had seen right through him and said of course they hadn’t been invited. they’d only just formally met Lady Bridgerton and it was so gracious of her to make room for them at the last minute. Besides, it would be a good opportunity for Edwina.

Kaleb had tried to convince himself that Mary meant in general, but he’s fairly certain both Mary and Lady Bridgerton have resolved that Edwina and Anthony should be married by the end of the season. As they approach the Bridgerton’s country estate, Kaleb tries to convince himself his reticence still only concerns Anthony’s reputation and what kind of husband he would be to Edwina. But after the other night….

Let it just be said that Kaleb has not allowed himself to think too long on the events of the night of Lady Bridgerton’s musicale. He was not surprised at his own feelings, only that it was Anthony Bridgerton to call them forth, but he was twisted up in knots over what Anthony might have been feeling in that moment and whether he has any idea what that might mean.

So no, spending several days with the Bridgertons with no means of escape is not something Kaleb is relishing. Edwina and Mary, however, are utterly delighted and it is not aiding the knots in Kaleb’s stomach.

When they arrive, Lady Bridgerton is there to greet them, ever the perfect hostess, and in an effort to be polite, Kaleb compliments Lady Bridgerton on the garden they passed on the way in. She smiles warmly, obviously very proud of the garden, and suggests he venture to explore it.

Eager for some sort of escape, even if just a few yards away, Kaleb accepts and tries not to walk too quickly outside.

The garden is beautiful, though not necessarily his area of expertise. Of course, on the farm he has a small herb garden and tends to the existing flora and fauna, but it’s a passive hobby. The land is so naturally primed, he has to do very little to maintain the patches of garden that seem to have popped up rather spontaneously over the years.

But he does appreciate a good view and this garden with its accompanying sprawling countryside is certainly a good view.

And even though Kaleb’s stomach sinks as soon as he spots Anthony Bridgerton, his mind provides, unbidden, that the view is only improved by the Viscount.

It’s too late to retreat as Anthony has already spotted him. Their eyes meet and neither advances toward the other for a long while. Apparently Anthony _was_ just as affected by their encounter as Kaleb. Affected how, is the question. Is he angry with Kaleb? Uncertain? Confused? All of the above?

As if a switch has been flicked, Anthony’s face breaks out in an impish grin and he begins moving toward Kaleb. His entire body alights. So much for ignoring any feelings that may have been awoken. This is exactly why Kaleb has endeavored to remain on the farm. Anything beyond the boundary of his childhood home is dangerous. He much prefers his simple, uncomplicated life to the one that is walking toward him now.

“I see you accepted my mother’s invitation.”

“Mary and Edwina accepted, I am merely here as a chaperone.”

“Your chaperone duties become more and more complicated every day, it seems.”

Kaleb’s heart skips a beat as he wonders ridiculously if Anthony can somehow read his mind. He wouldn’t be surprised at this point. “I think you’ll find I’d do anything for my family.”

“As would I. And yet, you still stand in the way of your sister’s future. Why is that? Do you even remember anymore?”

“Of course I do.” He doesn’t. Not entirely. Kaleb has to think on it because Anthony is standing fearfully close. Oh, yes. "You are a rogue and will never make my sister happy, only risk humiliating her.”

“So you say. But you cannot tell the future, Kaleb.”

It’s the first time Kaleb has heard Anthony say his name and it makes him lose all sense of self. In one moment the word loses all meaning and gains an entirely new meaning. What is Anthony doing to him and does he mean to do it?

The thought goes unanswered when he hears his sister calling his name. Anthony breaks their gaze first and greets Edwina, who has apparently joined up with Eloise, Penelope, and Collin.

Kaleb knows he should be grateful for the interruption, but as he still cannot make his feet work, he’s left to wonder what might have happened if Anthony had continued to encroach on his personal space. Would Anthony have gotten so close as to—no, Kaleb banishes the thought. Anthony would not do so out in the open where anyone could see.

It’s not until Kaleb has pulled himself out of his reverie and plastered a smile on his face to greet his sister and the others that he realizes that his first thought should have been that there was no way Anthony would ever have kissed him, regardless of who may or may not see.


End file.
